Why Perl is like a toddler
“I can’t find the file, mommy!”
“I can’t find the subroutine!”
“There’s a syntax error in the bath!”
“You forgot a curly bracket! But I’m going to tell you the wrong place to look for it!”
It’ll give you a half-page tantrum for a missing semi-colon; and then when you do get it to work, it won’t do anything anyway. Because you didn’t tell it to print the results.